It's my 46th birthday.
I can't believe I am 46 with a newborn.
Here's how it's gone so far…

Harder Than I Thought:

C-section – getting my mind right to have one was easy.  Living with the c-section afterwards, also easy; although I get a little pang when women say "How is your recovery?  I never had one so I don't know."  Hmmm thanks.  Anyway, the actual operation, the epidural: hellish.  Not from pain but from the way it freaked me out.

Breastfeeding – well I've been all through that.  The medication and herbs I'm taking are now increasing my milk supply but I will not be able to catch up to our baby's appetite to breastfeed him exclusively.  I guess I thought it might be hard but didn't accept that it might also be hard for ME. 

Being pregnant.  I'm sorry to say this in front of anyone who longs to be pregnant, and I'm grateful as hell that I got to do it, and will do it again if I can.  But oh, it was so much harder than I thought.

Blogging / finishing posts… pretty challenging. 

Easier Than I Thought:

Sleep deprivation – maybe because I get a lot of help from my husband and my mom was with us for five weeks.  Or maybe because of being over 40 I already know that sleep is a privilege and not a right.  I do have my crash & burn moments and I am saying things like "Look, it has a mammogram" when I mean "monogram" or that we took the baby to the vet instead of the pediatrician… but everyone thinks it's funny.

C-section recovery – compared to being pregnant, recovering from abdominal surgery is a piece of cake, discomfort-wise.  At least for me.

Labor – well, three weak contractions and then surgery.  What's the big deal?  (Hey, at least I can joke about it).

Bonding – ??  As Elle Woods would say "What, like it's hard?"

Scheduling, hassles, being "tied down," however we describe Having To Be a Grownup Now: it's not a lot more hassle than an IVF cycle… but so much more rewarding.

Like i said… finishing posts: hardest of all.  Gotta go.

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