We had our 22 week appointment today and all is well.  I gained 2 lbs. since last appointment.  Holy smokes, people, I gained more weight at Weight Watchers than I have gained while pregnant.  This nausea thing rocks.  Uh, kind of.

My midwife saw on the chart that I have a follow-up ultrasound scheduled for two weeks from now and asked if I'd prefer to have the u/s done with a perinatologist, at some big hospital nearby, probably U. of Tennessee.  I was immediately scared.  I said "Is there a problem?" and she said, no, just that the perinatologist could go over some of the age-related risks, placenta issues, HELLP, etc. 

I said, "Isn't that going to freak me out?"and she said, well, maybe.  I said I'd go with the regular ultrasound, thanks anyway, and try to minimize the freakout.  My husband and I laughed – who would WANT to see a perinatologist just to find out about things that MIGHT go wrong?  I guess it might be more cautious but … no thanks.

I'm in denial about the risks, which I think is healthy.  I can't do anything about my age and I'm being monitored for all the right things.  Something may go wrong, and then again it may not, and I just don't want to spend another second worrying.  I've worried enough for a whole lifetime.

We heard the heartbeat after the usual digging around for it, which I'm getting used to.  She asked me if I was "feeling some good movement," and I said "How should I know?  It just feels like there's a little mouse in there."  She said that sounded about right.

I'm feeling a little less freaked out as each appointment comes and goes (as long as I stay away from the perinatologist).  In two weeks I get to drink the sugary goo for my glucose test which I feel confident will go fine.  (see "healthy denial," above)

This was my last one-on-one doctorish midwife appointment because soon I start this thing called "Centering Pregnancy."  Instead of seeing the midwife one-on-one, I join a group of women due at around the same time, and we meet monthly.  I show up at the clinic, weigh my own self, possibly take my own blood pressure, write it all in my own chart, and then we discuss all the stuff as a group with one of the midwives as moderator.  I think there is a generous dose of education thrown in. 

I think this is radical.  I love the community aspect of sharing all the pregnancy stuff with a group of women in the same boat, and I love the idea that we can deal with the basic monitoring – weight, BP, I'm not sure what else.  I suppose it costs less to do it this way, although I have no idea since I'm blissfully insured.  I'm curious about who will be in my group.  There are lots of sullen teenage girls at my birthing center everytime I go.  This could be interesting.