I started Lupron on Saturday without fanfare.  Organized the drugs in the red box.  Other than that I’m living in the non-cycling Rest of My Life (and I do have one) so nothing much to post.  I’m enjoying the Christmas season and grieving less.  I have shopped and shipped (gift-wrapped) almost every Christmas present necessary with a slight dose of "from me to me."  I’m having fun.  I like shopping.  I’m also doing well with working out (thanks to Jack) and getting through a bunch of professional and household projects that are daunting but have to be faced.

I always dread the in-between cycle time but then I do enjoy it.  There are always compensations if I look for them.  Freedom from stress is huge, as is freedom to drink a glass of wine or take a pain reliever. 

I also have more reason to be optimistic due to my "other shoe" perspective.  In the old movie of "The World According to Garp," Garp is thinking about buying a house and as he stands there looking at it, a small plane crashes into the roof.  This was a lot funnier before September 11th, of course.

When he sees this, his face lights up as only Robin Williams’ face can, and he says "I’ll take it!"  He now loves the house because it’s "pre-disastered."  Since something very unusual and bad has already happened to the house, he feels it will now be safe for his family.

I feel this way, sort of, about our upcoming tries.  Ectopic was such an unusual thing that on a purely statistical basis we can expect better results going forward.  Of course, you could point out that sometimes ectopics happen for a reason and so it could happen to me again –

but if that’s what you were thinking, you’d keep it to yourself, right?

Sure you would.