First of all my sleep is crap.  It always is, but lately worse.  I wake up at 3 or 3:30 feeling slightly wired.  I can sort of get back to sleep, but if I don’t have the luxury of sleeping til 8 to make it up, it’s not good.  I’m getting pissed off at the pregnancy websites that say “you need plenty of sleep” or “don’t be surprised if you find yourself sleeping 9 or 10 hours a night.”  And that the progesterone can make you sleepy in the daytime and keep you up at night.  Isn’t that hilarious? 

uh, no.

FritosoriginalObviously I’m a little bit nervous about this pregnancy BUT I’m doing pretty well.  My acupuncturist, Dr. Lee, said on Friday that there was absolutely nothing to worry about and I am muttering that under my breath a lot.   I feel pregnant, I guess; woozy sometimes, sleepy sometimes, wide awake at 3 a.m., and ravenously scarily hungry.  I’m trying to eat fruits and vegetables but people, all I want are Fritos.  I guess I have a salt thing going on.  I’m trying to be conservative and dump soy sauce on my brown rice instead of eating salty fried corn chips all day but it’s taking some will power.

We have the ultrasound Tuesday and at least we’ll all see whatever we see together, and I won’t have to wait 3 hours for a scary phone call.  Did I tell you my clinic coordinator laughed merrily at me on Thursday when I picked up the phone to hear about my second beta?  Apparently my nervous, breathless, stammering “hello” was hilarious. 

But that’s okay.  Maybe I really do have a chance if everyone else is so relaxed and cavalier about it.

I really am doing a pretty good job just keeping the faith that this pregnancy will last.  It’s not comfortable, but it seems like the right way to get through the next few days.

Note to my friends in real life (IRL): Don’t tell anybody that I am pregnant, OK?  Just because I’m spreading my business all over the internet doesn’t mean you get to.  If anyone comes up to me and says “oh my gosh I heard you were pregnant,” I’ll do a highly scientific triangulation of who you know and who they know and Jack Bauer will have Chloe reposition the satellite and then I’ll know it was YOU.  I’m waiting at least until we have a heartbeat to tell.

See?  I almost sound like I believe that will happen.