I like that kind of cycling, too – the two-wheeled kind – but I speak here of "cycling" as in "doing an IVF."  My entire fertility career has been distinguished by not a lot of chances to conceive naturally.  This has been a boon to my marriage, as anyone with fertility monitor, thermometer, peesticks etc. in hand can tell you; while sex is intended partly for procreation we sure can ruin it when it gets too "functional" and it doesn’t just ruin fun.  It can ruin intimacy, trust and a lot of other important things.  But I am lucky because my ovulation, while it still happens every month like clockwork, is mostly in the rearview mirror and if I’m going to get pregnant in any given month, it’s only because I’m cycling.  I generally approach my cycles – all two of them so far – with a grim understanding of the chances and a steeling of myself to find some method of hope management. 

But eventually I just feel happy, because the chances of me getting pregnant are usually zero, and in a cycle they go up.  Dramatically.  Therefore I love cycling.  I don’t love the weight gain and the money down the drain and the emotional drama – but I will embrace any and all of it, if it means I have a chance.   I’m about a week away from being out of April and into May, on my body’s schedule (which has lined itself up with the calendar in one of those subtle little graces that I do appreciate) and so soon I will be in a cycle during which I may possibly become pregnant.  Remote as the possibility may be, it exists; and so I’m happy.

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