I should be encouraged but it just makes me feel sulky.  Most of my favorite infertility blogs are now mommy blogs.  Which is nice, there is obviously an end to infertility for almost everyone, whether it’s adopting, having a baby through whatever assisted reproductive contortions, or whatever else people do.  They’re still worth reading.  The infertility experience doesn’t just wash out of your system like too much vitamin C.  And infertility generally leads to secondary infertility, so once there’s one kid you’re sort of back to square one about getting your hands on another.  Seems like a lot of the IFs who had babies also ended up with massive postpartum depression, which is totally understandable.  There’s no downer like finding your heart’s desire, after all.  I kind of think I should go get my Paxil now, start downing it with folate, make my own special pre-natal cocktail.  And I’m happy for all the infertiles-in-transition, but I miss all the snarkiness, the feeling that I’m not the only one putting the needle in my butt or my feet in the stirrups and thinking "I have something funny I can write about this later."  They’re just writing about poopy diapers or stupid comments made at the mall instead. 

Infertility is all about the sadness of being left behind, of knowing that during the time I’ve been married and TTC, friends have met their spouses, married, decided to try to get PG, (or not), gotten PG, had a kid, had another, given away their maternity clothes and baby’s clothes, and I’m still way back at square one.  If I mention we haven’t given up I get the look of surprise, followed by a lame "Oh…. good!"  But I can’t hate the IF-turned-mommy bloggers, because I want to be one too.

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